Making a long-distance relationship work

How to make a long-distance relationship work?

This is one of the biggest struggles that any couple will ever have to work through. When your better half resides miles away, so many thoughts go through your mind. You begin searching within yourself for answers and start asking yourself, “how to make a long-distance relationship work?”

Anxiety takes over when they don’t respond to your last text or don’t answer when you call. You start asking yourself, “What are they doing? Who are they with? Why are they ignoring me? Are they blowing me off?”

When you fall in love with someone, you vow that you would do anything to make it work with them. Nothing could ever stand in the way of what you both want, not even long distance. So, the question remains, how to make a long-distance relationship work?

You must be committed.

There are many factors that come into play in order to make a long-distance relationship work. The foundation for success is built on three main components: trust, faith and communication. Without all of those working together, the relationship is sure to be doomed.

Trust is the key element to any type of relationship, intimate or not. Without trust, the relationship will be held at arm’s length. It is a natural feeling to not allow anyone you don’t trust to get too close to you, that’s just common sense. If you aren’t willing to trust who you are with to make wise decisions when you are not around, it might be time to walk away.

Faith falls into the same category as trust; however, faith is something that you must have in yourself. You must maintain faith in yourself and in the relationship itself. Trust yourself to make the right decisions when your spouse isn’t around. Let’s face it, temptation is everywhere, and the devil has honed his skills in that department. Have faith in your relationship and that will be your soldiers on the front line.

 Communication is a must when it comes to any relationship. Lack of communication becomes frustrating, and nobody likes to play guessing games in a relationship. Communication is important in any relationship; it is even more necessary when you factor in distance on top of it. When you are ignored or feel like you are being blown off, suspicious minds prevail, and your conscience will eat you alive.

You should never accuse your partner of ill intentions or infidelity just because they don’t respond to a text or answer their phone right away. If they are being unfaithful, the writing will be on the wall. I’m not saying that you have to stop in the middle of traffic to immediately respond to their text or call. Just communicate regularly or text an “I love you” once or twice a day. That will go a long way in a long-distance relationship.

Use the technology at your fingertips.

 Virtually anyone can conduct most daily tasks from that little rectangle device that they just can’t leave home without. Pay bills, surf the internet, take videos and pictures, catch up on news or the latest gossip on social media. These are just a few common daily activities that are done on our phones.

Your smart phone is equipped to handle and perform more duties than most of us will ever use on it. You can run your entire life from it if you so choose. This is convenient, but very scary at the same time. I want to focus on one of the better things that technology has provided us with, video calling.

When you video chat with someone, you are talking to them while being able to see their face. You can see their surroundings and the people they are with, it’s like being right there in person. Now, nothing could ever take the place of actually being right there beside your spouse. However, when you are in a long-distance relationship, it is all about compromise. When you can visually see the other person, it gives you a feeling of bliss during conversation.

I personally use Facebook messenger to video chat. As long as you have a good internet connection or mobile data on your smart phone, this app works great. If both of you have an Apple product, you can use Facetime to video chat. Google Duo if you are talking Android to Android and Skype is your Windows to Windows app. However, Facebook messenger works on all devices.

When you are miles away from the one you love, give them a video call in the evening to discuss your day. See what that are cooking for dinner, or you could even have a movie night. As I stated earlier, while it won’t compensate for actually being right there with the person you love, it is the next best thing.

You must have the same goals in life.

 When you are in a long-distance relationship, the end seems nowhere in sight. If the two of you have no goal in residing in the same household eventually, then why even waste the time and struggle in being in this relationship at all? Time is something you spend and can never get back, time is going to pass, no matter what you choose to do with it, that is a fact.

There are various reasons why couples choose to be in a long-distance relationship. Maybe you were high school sweethearts who went off to different colleges. Maybe you are married to someone in the military who has been deployed. Some of you may have met someone online that is a bit of a distance, and some have careers that require a significant amount of travel.

Whatever the reason, you both must agree that this is not a situation that you want to be in forever, because let’s face it, there has to be light at the end of the tunnel. All the anguish that you are both putting yourselves through in order to make this lifestyle manageable, has to be working toward something.

So how do you make a long-distance relationship work?

Both of you must make the other person feel like you want to make it work. Travel back and forth to see each other if you have the means. Come up with a plan where the two of you alternate travel time. One of you can make the trip and then the other does next time. Love, trust and understanding of what it takes to get to where you both eventually want to be, will guide you through the turbulent waters of life. Stay strong, stay committed and nothing will stand in the way of the dream you hope to have together.